


If I Steal a Kiss

by numinousnumbat



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: M/M, Meet-Cute, Welters Challenge 2018, canon level swearing, thieves au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-07 15:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15221864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numinousnumbat/pseuds/numinousnumbat
Summary: Quentin and Julia are thieves who have been hired to retrieve the contents of a safe. While Quentin is on the job, he stumbles into another thief who has been hired for the same job, oh, shit! For the 2018 Welters Challenge, Theme 7: “The Black Out.”





	If I Steal a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the Frank Sinatra song of the same name.

_“Rerouting the video feed for 30 seconds, starting … now,”_ Julia said in Quentin’s earpiece.

Quentin was already crouched over, running next to the mansion. He spotted the side door and as he ran up, he heard it unlock. Julia was a freaking genius. He slipped inside and the door shut with a small click as he heard Julia say, _“Video feed back online.”_

He was in family side of the mansion, where the CEO, her husband, and two children lived during the school year. Currently the children were visiting relatives back in California. The CEO and her husband were hosting a small get together of only about 200 of the most influential people in New York City. But Quentin wasn’t here for that, he was here for the contents of the safe that was located in the basement.

Quentin and Julia worked for Merlin Security Solutions, a company that was able to get anything, for anyone, for a price. Quentin didn’t handle the bookkeeping, but someone had paid top dollar for them to retrieve the contents of this safe. As far as jobs went, this one sounded straightforward. 

Quentin moved quickly down the hall. There were two sets of staircases to the basement, both heavily warded, which made the elevator, surprisingly, the best choice. They'd only have to deal with a couple of video feeds to use the elevator, which was child's play for Julia.

Quentin spotted the pantry ahead on his left, the dry goods pantry, seldom used. The 25-pound sacks of flour and chocolate fountains were stored in here, according to their well-paid sources. Quentin noted just in the nick of time that the door was slightly ajar. Shit. He paused and heard someone moving around. Was that the sound of a zipper?

This part of the house was strictly off limits during parties, and there was an extra security detail employed today to keep an eye on things. Pausing at the door, he heard a male voice. “What if they're looking for me?”

“We have time.” A second voice, also male.

“I have a girlfriend?” said the first voice.

“I’m offering a blowjob, not marriage.” The second voice again and Quentin stifled a smile. When taking into a account all of the variables that went into a job, you could never take fully into account what a couple of horny people would do. The door opened and Quentin ducked behind a rolling cart. He heard footsteps, but from his vantage point, he couldn’t tell if one or two people had left. Hopefully both of them.

 _“10 seconds,”_ Julia said in his ear. Shit. Ok, his choice was jump into that pantry where there might be a party-goer, or get caught by the cameras out here. He took a deep breath and quietly slid into the pantry, closing the door behind him with the softest of clicks. 

 _"Back online,"_ Julia said. _"Wait for my signal to go to the elevator."_  

"Copy," Quentin said. 

“Back for more?” It was the second voice. Shit, shit, shit.

Quentin turned on his flashlight and held it towards the man, who was sprawled out on the floor, glass of wine in hand, using a bag of beans as an armrest. He was wearing a dark suit and a crisp white shirt, with artfully tousled hair. He looked like a model for an advertisement for cologne or expensive watches or sex.

“Oh, hello,” the man said. “Now, you’re not the one who walked out of the best blowjob of his life.” Quentin was tempted to smile.

“Security,” Quentin said, lowering his voice a touch. “I’m going to have to ask you to rejoin the event.”

The man grinned at him from the floor. “No, you’re not.”

“Am, too!” Quentin said. Shit, be professional, Coldwater. “You need to leave.” This man needed to get back to the party and stop ruining Quentin’s plan.

“Tell me who you are and I’ll go.” The man tilted his head. He looked very amused and not at all intimidated by Quentin. And Quentin was very intimidating, he was wearing combat boots and everything.

Quentin sighed. “Quentin, and I need you to leave, don't ask any questions.” Quentin should have used a false name, crap.

“Quentin,” the man said. He looked from Quentin's feet to his head. “I’m Eliot. Question for you, wild stab in the dark, really, were you hired to retrieve the contents from the safe downstairs?” 

He spoke quickly and it took Quentin a second to process. The blood rushed to Quentin’s face and he felt weak at the knees. “What?” he spluttered.

“That’s what I thought. I’m with Brakebills. I think we’re being double-crossed.” This was bad. Eliot pulled out a cigarette and used a bit of magic to light it.

 _“Who’s there?”_ Julia said. _“Wipe him and get ready to go.”_

“I can’t,” Quentin said. “He’s not a muggle.” Eliot took a drag of his cigarette and nodded at Quentin.

 _“Shit,”_ Julia said. Quentin heard a series of clicks; Julia was making sure they were on a more private line, one of hers, not the company’s. _“Are we being double-crossed?”_ she said low into his ear.

“Maybe?” Quentin said.

 _"I'm checking on Brakebills,"_ Julia said.

“Tell your friend that I’m Eliot Waugh and I am even more gorgeous in person.”

 _"White male, brown curly hair, tall?"_ Julia asked.

"Yes," Quentin said. 

 _"Checks out, shit,"_ Julia said. " _Leave him.”_  

“I’m going to take him with me,” Quentin said. Eliot grinned at Quentin. 

Julia sighed. _"Fine, tell him I will cancel all of his credit cards and empty his bank account if he fucks with you.”_

Quentin was glad Julia was on his team. "Julia says she'll cancel your credit cards and empty your bank account if you fuck with me," he dutifully repeated. 

Eliot laughed. "So fucking is off the table?"

Quentin tried to come up with a quick comeback, and came up with "What?" instead. 

Eliot still looked very amused. "Fine," he said. "I say we work together, get the contents of the safe, and then hold it for ransom until we get some answers. I took this job because I was bored, not because I wanted to die." 

Quentin was still recovering from where his mind went when Eliot said the word _fucking_. “Are you working with anyone?” Quentin managed.

“My associate Margo is at the party and keeping an eye on things,” Eliot said. 

 _“Are we doing this?”_ Julia said into his earpiece. _“The security guard is due back from his break in less than three minutes.”_

“We’re doing this,” Quentin said. Eliot stubbed out his cigarette on the floor and Quentin stuck out his hand and pulled Eliot to his feet.

Standing, Eliot towered over him. “You are tiny and adorable,” Eliot said, touching Quentin on the nose. Quentin wondered what it would be like to kiss Eliot. God, focus, Coldwater.

 _“Ok, on my count,”_ Julia said. Quentin motioned at Eliot, who nodded. “ _Three, two, GO!”_

Quentin opened the door and confidently walked down the hall, away from the kitchen. He saw the elevator at the end of the hallway start to open; Julia had done it again. His heart was beating in his chest; he loved this, the thrill of it, thinking on his feet. Stealing was the best rush. He and Eliot walked into the elevator like they owned the place. The doors closed and then … nothing.

"Julia?" Quentin said.

 _"Working on it."_ Julia sounded terse and angry. It wasn't often she had technology issues.

“Oh, the code is 6-9-6-9,” Eliot said off-handedly. “Margo reset it five minutes ago.”

Quentin was staring at Eliot with his mouth agape. “Julia -” he began as the elevator smoothly started moving down.

 _“Ask your_ friend _if there is anything else he’d like to tell us,”_ Julia said.

The elevator stopped at the basement level and the doors opened. Quentin went to step forward, but Eliot stuck his arm across Quentin’s front, preventing him from leaving. Eliot glared at Quentin. “Can you at least throw up a protection spell?”

See, this is why Quentin preferred working alone. Well, alone with Julia guiding his every move.

Eliot’s fingers were working furiously and Quentin felt the protection spell wash over him. Eliot directed the spell at himself and nodded that he was finished. Eliot stepped off the elevator and motioned for Quentin to follow him. The basement was mainly used for storage: there was a pile of chairs in one corner, and several dusty televisions next to them. Three Christmas trees were leaning haphazardly against each other farther down. Quentin and Eliot were heading to the room in the corner, the one with the safe.

Eliot had done his homework, and knew where the safe was located. They walked side-by-side, Quentin’s arm occasionally brushing against Eliot’s. Eliot used an unlocking spell to open the door to the office and it swung in a few inches.

Quentin wasn’t going to let Eliot be first again, and he walked through the gap, flipping on the light as he did so. The fluorescent lights slowly flickered on and Quentin could see a large desk, and boxes of what looked to be old paperwork. The safe was sitting in the back of the room, so big that Quentin could probably walk into it, and Eliot would probably only need to duck his head. He suspected the only way to move it would be with a couple of cranes. The safe was, as he had researched, completely off the grid, and featured a large combination in the center, nothing electronic for Julia to play with. 

“Birthday?” Quentin asked. He had found out that the safe combination was Al Capone’s birthday, January 25, 1947, 1-25-47.

“Yep,” Eliot said. He walked to the safe and reached out to put in the combination. As his fingers touched the dial, the lights went out, the heating shut off, and it was pitch black and very quiet.

“Shit,” Eliot said. Quentin blindly reached out a hand and found Eliot's arm.

With his other hand, Quentin tried a light spell, one of the first spells he had learned, and nothing. “No magic,” Quentin said. No light, no protection spell, no battle magic. He tried his earpiece to Julia, nothing.

“Double shit,” Eliot said.

Quentin fumbled for the flashlight he'd put on his belt and clicked it on. "Let's just finish this," Quentin said.

"Agreed," Eliot said, already twisting the dial. He turned the dial clockwise, then counterclockwise, then clockwise again. As he slowly turned the dial to "47", there was a satisfying clunk of the safe door opening. They also heard the elevator ding and then the sounds of heavy footsteps and muttering.

“Ok, play along,” Eliot said, and Quentin heard the sound of a belt being unbuckled. “We just came down here for some old-fashioned dick sucking,” Eliot said into his ear.

Quentin was only human, and his dick reacted to those words in a very convincing manner. Eliot grabbed him, wrapped a hand around his neck, and brought him in for a kiss. A very nice kiss. Why had he waited so long to kiss Eliot; they could have been doing this upstairs in the pantry. Quentin dropped the flashlight and it rolled under the desk, unhelpfully illuminating some cobwebs. 

“Unnnngh,” Quentin said into Eliot's mouth and Eliot traced a finger down the side of Quentin’s face before leaning back in for more kissing.

Security was there in a matter of moments, giant flashlights of their own and guns drawn. “Hands where we can see them,” barked the first security guard. Quentin blinked against the bright light. Another security guard flanked him.

“It’s just homosexuals,” the second security guard said with a sigh and both of the security guards put their guns away. 

“We need you to rejoin the event,” the first security guard said.

“Of course,” Eliot said. “Just let me find my pants; they’re around here somewhere.” 

The first security guard shined his flashlight on the floor around their feet and found Eliot's pants and shoes scattered near the safe. 

"Thank you," Eliot said. He gave Quentin a look and slowly bent over to retrieve his clothing. Quentin needed to do ... something. God, being a thief was much easier when he had Julia telling him what to do. Could he fight these brutes? No, definitely would lose, and honestly, Eliot didn't look like much of a fighter, either. Magic was gone. Oh! He had fainting powder. He tried to inconspicuously search around his utility belt until he pulled out two small pouches. 

"Hey!" Quentin yelled, wishing he had some sort of a witty quip, and somehow both of the pouches hit their targets: the security guards faces. The pouches burst on impact and as the security guards breathed in, their bodies went limp and they staggered until they fell as lumps onto the floor.

"Fainting powder," Quentin said to Eliot, a little smug that had worked. 

"Nice," Eliot said. He looked down. "Do you have rope to tie them up?"

Quentin shook his head no. 

"We're professionals, shouldn't we have rope?" Eliot asked. 

"Probably," Quentin said. "But I learned this trick in the second grade." He knelt on the floor and triple knotted the first security guard's shoes together. Eliot was watching. "Put your pants on!" Quentin said as he moved to tie the second security guards shoes together. He retrieved his flashlight and stood. Eliot had his pants back on and was working on his shoes. Quentin took a few steps over to the safe and tried the door, but it was too heavy and he couldn't budge it. You know, he was starting to think that this whole job was badly planned, or else someone wanted him to fail. Eliot slid on his last shoe and came over to help and together they were able to slowly swing the door open. 

Eliot shined the flashlight inside.

Inside on a small glass table, one golden key. That was it for the entire safe, a golden key on a table.

They heard the elevator ding again: they were about to be caught.

"Any more of that fainting powder?" Eliot asked, voice going higher than usual. 

"No," Quentin said. "You?"

"I thought we'd have magic," Eliot said. "Let's grab the key and run." 

Quentin stepped into the safe and grabbed the key; it felt like it was buzzing slightly or maybe humming in his hand. He held it up in front of the flashlight. 

“Men down," Quentin heard one of the new security guards say.

“Any ideas?” Eliot whispered.

Quentin shook his head no, but had one idea, an idea from a book he had read as a kid. He twisted the key into the air like he was unlocking a door.

A portal opened. Eliot looked delighted and Quentin realized he was grinning, too.

Flashlights beamed into the room. "Put your hands in the air,” a security guard yelled.

Quentin slid the key into his pocket. He held out his hand, Eliot grabbed it, and they jumped through the portal together.

**Author's Note:**

> I am on [tumblr](https://numinousnumbat.tumblr.com/).


End file.
